Ava *1 Month*

My Ava Rees is one month old. 

Here are her one month stats:

Weight: 11 lbs 12 oz- 97%

Height: 22.75 inches- 94%

Head circumference: 38 cm- 69%

In some ways it seems ridiculous that she's only been with us a month- it feels like she has always been a part of our family. When I think back to our first days together in the hospital it honestly feels like that was years ago. These past weeks have flown by. Every night I rock her and sing her songs until we both get sleepy, and every night I think to myself- I can't believe another day has gone by so fast! Is this what it's really going to be like for the rest of my life? Having that feeling that life is speeding by and my little girl is very soon not going to be so little? 

Has anyone out there ever heard the Taylor Swift song Never Grow Up? I only suggest you listen to it if you want to cry your eyes out. 

I know this blog has been overtaken by the babe- and I really wouldn't have it any other way. This blog is my way of recording our family history- and I don't want to forget a single thing.

I took some pictures of my one month old yesterday and started to compile all of the little things I always want to remember about this sweetheart. 

One thing that I just love is how she wakes up- she starts with a big yawn and then a full body stretch- she throws her arms up all the way over her head and arches her back while kicking her legs out- the whole time just yawning like crazy. Then she'll look over at me with her big eyes for a few seconds......and then start grunting. She grunts so much! And it's loud. She grunts when she's happy, sad, angry, hungry- it's her form of communication. The other night Jeff and I were in bed falling asleep and we hear her just grunting away- I checked on her but her eyes were still closed so I let her be. Right when I got back in bed we hear the biggest toot- like grown man status- and then we hear her little sigh and she went right back to sleep. ha, work it out girl.

 I just love that double-strike that- triple chin

She's not the best sleeper- but not the worst. I'm not worried about it just yet. She seems to fight sleep- her eyelids droop, she falls asleep, and then wakes up a second later angry that she almost fell asleep. Yes, I'm tired and exhausted but cuddling with her in the middle of the night still makes me feel pretty special- and I just remind myself that she's only 4 weeks old- she can do what she wants. 

Yesterday she was doing everything she could to fight a nap- I was trying everything I could to make her take one (I wanted one too) when she finally went down I jumped at the chance to finally shower/eat and have a moment to myself. However- three hours later- she was still asleep and I was having to hold myself back from poking her awake. I just found myself missing her. 

Recently, Ava's been grabbing my finger or my shirt while she eats. The first time she initiated it my heart melted just a little. She just grabs on and holds the top of my shirt or my pointer finger until she's finished. Sometimes when I take a little too long to get to feeding her she doesn't cry- just grunts extra loud- but she will give me the stare down with some serious angry eyes until she's done eating. 

One of the sweetest moments of my day is when Jeff gets home. Ava gets super sleepy around this time so Jeff and Ava will crash together on the couch and get in a daddy-daughter napping session. It's pretty cute- especially when she's grunting in her sleep while Jeff's snoring. This is also the time I can usually get my workout and shower in- good times all around. 

I've been trying to make her awake times more meaningful- trying to do more stuff- but really, all she wants to do is look out the window. Ava loves our windows. I have to turn her completely away from them for her to eat without getting distracted- but even then she'll turn and twist her body so she can see what's going on out in the world. 

Tummy time is touch and go- she likes it and moves her head around great- but after about 5 minutes she's done- and lets us know it. She has started crying this really really sad little wail. She usually just lets out one little cry at a time- usually its an angry little cry when she's really hungry or when she's done with tummy time. However, this new little cry is really sad. Her eyes get big and her bottom lip gets big and she lets out this sad little wimper/wail. Usually I hear this if I'm taking too long changing her diaper her when I'm letting her wiggle around free on our bed and she's ready to be picked up and cuddled. 

She's a serious cuddle bug. 

And while she doesn't get overly fussy in the evenings like I thought most babies did- she has started getting fussy in the mornings. Is this weird? She doesn't cry a ton, but for about two hours from when she wakes up she is just not happy-angry grunting, sad face, angry little wails. I'm not sure why she does this, but it does serve as motivation to get her down for a morning nap! haha. I thought newborns wanted to sleep all the time- and she used to- until she was about two weeks old. Since then I have to work to get her to fall asleep. Like I said earlier- she just fights it! I've started using a white noise app on my phone that seems to calm her down and help her drift off. I usually set her down while she's sleepy, but still awake, with the white noise going. So far it's the only way I can get her to nap in the morning. Yesterday I thought I'd just wait and see when she wanted to nap- and yeah, she was awake for the day at 6 am and didn't fall asleep on her own until noon. Seriously- this baby doesn't like to sleep. Today I rocked her, sang her a song and put her down with the white noise at around 10:00 am and she drifted off successfully- we'll see how long she stays asleep- I just think she's happier when she gets her sleep!

 Anyways.

After this first month I can confidently say that even though I've never been a baby person, I am one now! Although I might just be a my baby person. The fact that I love being a mom so much has come as a huge relief because I hated being pregnant so much! Being pregnant was the absolute worst. Thankfully, it turned out to be worth it- but even now when friends tell me they're pregnant with their third or second- I shudder on the inside remembering how awful it was. I never felt a connection with the baby growing inside me, I never felt "bonded" like some moms do. All I felt was miserably sick. However, I feel like Ava and I have made up for lost time and we're all good now. 

Every day and week that goes by I feel closer to her and feel like I keep getting to know her better. 

Although it does make me a little sad that she's growing like a weed (she fits in all of her 3 month clothes)  I'm also so excited to keep getting to know her and discover her little personality. I'm so in love with this little girl and I feel so lucky to be her mom at least a dozen times during the day. 

 I love you Ava!